Right away dear sisters, thank you!” (giggles) did you see their faces! They must to think I’ve gone mad. “Sure, I’ll wash you dresses, Drizella… I would love to polish your shoes, Anastasia. Whenever they are mean to me, I’ll pretend they actually said something sweet and kind. ![]() I had the strangest dream, my fairy godmother sprinkled happy dust over Anastasia and Drizella, and they were so nice to me! I know that was only a dream, but it was so nice, that I think I’ll try to pretend that it really happened. So, who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their happily ever after? Where’s that first born you were promised, eh? Hook! Need I say more? Anastasia, remember when you couldn’t get your fat foot in that glass slipper? Cinderella is out there right now, eating bon bons and schmoozing with every last fairy tale creature that has ever done you wrong! There are two sides to every story. How does that feel? You, frumpy pigskin, right Rumpelstiltskin…my bad. But do any of us? Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think! Queen Narcissa- the seven dwarfs saved Snow White and then what happened? It left you the Unfairest of them all! Now you’re hustling pool to get your next meal. Let them fight it out as to who gets to do the work. I’m telling you, that Cinderella girl should get together with snow white. She’s just like my friends stepdaughter, in front of guests she refuses to let anyone else lift a finger and then turns it around and makes us look bad. Snow white? I’ll tell you about Snow White! You think she looks like that naturally? (she spends hours on her make up.) And who do you think cleans all that up? It wasn’t snow white, I’ll tell you that. ![]() That girl is just too happy for her own good! All I’m saying is that it wasn’t completely my fault, but I’m still destined to go down in fairy tale history as “the Wicked Queen.” Do you have any idea what it’s like to constantly be around someone you know looks better than you? It’s terrible! Besides, I was doing a favor for all of humankind. Maybe attempted homicide was a bit extreme, but that doesn’t make me evil. All I ever wanted was to be the fairest in the land. I am so sick of being called the wicked queen! I am not wicked- I’m obsessive.
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